From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
That you were into bewbs. If you'd like to see some, I just broke up with a girlfriend and am rather vehement about getting back at her. The friend who suggested I send these to you chose to remain anonymous (not the /b/ kind)!
William Manning
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
hey.. whos this and whars bwebs?
MR. CASSIDY
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Dear Mr. Cassidy,
This is Will! We've met only a handful of times, and I wouldn't have remembered who you were had our friend not reminded me. However, I need to make sure it's you, so if you can just answer a question about yourself. What color is your hair, and do you wear glasses? I don't mean to be meddlesome, but I don't want to send ex-girlfriend bewbs to just anybody.
Cheers,
William Manning
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
hey this is john cassidy still have no idea.. i have glasses and brown hair. where do i know you from and we are you?
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Howdy John!
Can't believe you don't remember me! Ah well. Well yes, John has brown hair and wears glasses, so that must be you! Anyhoo, you're most definitely who I think you are! No other John could possibly have brown hair and wear glasses!
Will
Can't believe you don't remember me! Ah well. Well yes, John has brown hair and wears glasses, so that must be you! Anyhoo, you're most definitely who I think you are! No other John could possibly have brown hair and wear glasses!
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 3 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
where's the pic dude? but lol im not who u think i am and where do we know each other form?
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 4 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Mr. Cassidy,
I'm sorry, but I really can't send you any photos if you insist on knowing my identity! I already told you that we do know each other, but our mutual friend wished to remain anonymous, so I can't give you too much info on myself! However, if you're willing to overlook your inquiries, I would be more than happy to send you pictures!
Cheers,
Will
I'm sorry, but I really can't send you any photos if you insist on knowing my identity! I already told you that we do know each other, but our mutual friend wished to remain anonymous, so I can't give you too much info on myself! However, if you're willing to overlook your inquiries, I would be more than happy to send you pictures!
Cheers,
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 4 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
dude i dont know you!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 7 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Mr. Cassidy,
If you truly feel that way, I guess I'll have to accept it. However, I can give you a hint that the mutual friend knows something that you did not all that long ago that you ruin you if it ever got out! Don't worry, this isn't blackmail, nor a written threat. I'm just sayin'. So I can ruin you.
Wanna see pictures?
Will
If you truly feel that way, I guess I'll have to accept it. However, I can give you a hint that the mutual friend knows something that you did not all that long ago that you ruin you if it ever got out! Don't worry, this isn't blackmail, nor a written threat. I'm just sayin'. So I can ruin you.
Wanna see pictures?
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 7 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
no i have no idea! what are you talking about and reply faster not every 2 days dude!! i nees you to explaine this whole tging to me now!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 7 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
My good sir,
I'm truly sorry for not responding promptly enough to sate your curiosity! It's just that between my job as a night watchman and my court-appointed volunteering at the Center for the Blind and Disenchanted, I have very little time to check my e-mails. I assure you that I am not ignoring your messages. You're one of the few people in my inbox who are not pressuring me into enlarging my penis size. I don't respond to my grandmother's emails anymore because of that. Your emails are very important to me, as I know a few things about you that I find both intriguing and shocking (if you are indeed John Cassidy)! However, I was just checking my spam before you emailed me, and I found that your email appeared in my spam folder. Are you sure you're legitimate? I don't want to go spilling secrets to a spammer or anybody from South Dakota. I know far too many people in SoDak to leak any important information online.
Your friend,
Will
I'm truly sorry for not responding promptly enough to sate your curiosity! It's just that between my job as a night watchman and my court-appointed volunteering at the Center for the Blind and Disenchanted, I have very little time to check my e-mails. I assure you that I am not ignoring your messages. You're one of the few people in my inbox who are not pressuring me into enlarging my penis size. I don't respond to my grandmother's emails anymore because of that. Your emails are very important to me, as I know a few things about you that I find both intriguing and shocking (if you are indeed John Cassidy)! However, I was just checking my spam before you emailed me, and I found that your email appeared in my spam folder. Are you sure you're legitimate? I don't want to go spilling secrets to a spammer or anybody from South Dakota. I know far too many people in SoDak to leak any important information online.
Your friend,
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 8 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
ok.. but im not from sd
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 8 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Oh John,
That's great! My heart hiccuped when you told me you weren't from South Dakota! Sorry, I'm a rather chatty person! I was simply wanted which state you were from, originally. At least it's not South Dakota, but there are some other states that are just iffy. My second cousin Agatha was assaulted by urban pigeons in Tennessee once. It was awful. The news was spread all through my family like spam mail! Hardly any of my relatives will venture anywhere near Tennessee. Except my great uncle Earl. He lives there. We don't talk to him anymore.
Best wishes,
Will
That's great! My heart hiccuped when you told me you weren't from South Dakota! Sorry, I'm a rather chatty person! I was simply wanted which state you were from, originally. At least it's not South Dakota, but there are some other states that are just iffy. My second cousin Agatha was assaulted by urban pigeons in Tennessee once. It was awful. The news was spread all through my family like spam mail! Hardly any of my relatives will venture anywhere near Tennessee. Except my great uncle Earl. He lives there. We don't talk to him anymore.
Best wishes,
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 9 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
u no what stop emailing me because ur a fuckin wierdo sorry if that offendes u but just leave me alone i have no fuckin idea who u r or what the fuck you want so just stop and never tal to me again!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 9 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Hey buddy!
I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, but I assure you that I am not fucking a wierdo! I have a little too much self-respect for something like that. Now, I hope we can patch things up, because you are a great, great person with a beautiful mind. Just your email address alone shows me how clever and creative you are! Don't worry, John, I'll talk to our friend and see if he can set us up on a date so we can get to know one another. I'm confident in the fact that you will find me a marvelously agreeable person when you meet me face-to-face! How does Saturday work for you? I have to rake my yard in the early morning, but I will be free around noon. How does lunch sound?
Looking forward to it!
Will
I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, but I assure you that I am not fucking a wierdo! I have a little too much self-respect for something like that. Now, I hope we can patch things up, because you are a great, great person with a beautiful mind. Just your email address alone shows me how clever and creative you are! Don't worry, John, I'll talk to our friend and see if he can set us up on a date so we can get to know one another. I'm confident in the fact that you will find me a marvelously agreeable person when you meet me face-to-face! How does Saturday work for you? I have to rake my yard in the early morning, but I will be free around noon. How does lunch sound?
Looking forward to it!
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 9 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
stop deflecting my question.. where do i know you from?
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 9 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
John,
Howdy! Funny weather today, huh? Winter is such an odd thing. Anyhow, I'm afraid I can't trust that you won't try to rob my house if I give you my address. It's not that I don't trust you personally, but I'm a rather distrustful of people, especially when it comes to giving out my address. I was robbed no less than three months ago, and I expect someone from South Dakota or Tennessee did it. Their dirty fingerprints were all over the place, but the police never found the thieves. I hope you don't take it personally, but I'm pretty sure YOU were the one who robbed my house!
Howdy! Funny weather today, huh? Winter is such an odd thing. Anyhow, I'm afraid I can't trust that you won't try to rob my house if I give you my address. It's not that I don't trust you personally, but I'm a rather distrustful of people, especially when it comes to giving out my address. I was robbed no less than three months ago, and I expect someone from South Dakota or Tennessee did it. Their dirty fingerprints were all over the place, but the police never found the thieves. I hope you don't take it personally, but I'm pretty sure YOU were the one who robbed my house!
Also, if you try to get my address from me, I will have to inform the authorities. I sincerely hope you are not a thief, but if you are, I say shame on you. I honestly hope this isn't the case, but I'd really like you to stop trying to finagle secure information from me. I must warn you, I know the head of the petty theft subcommittee in the police department.
Where do you want to meet up on Saturday? Is 12:30 good for you? I have to take my dog in for a pelvic exam at 10:00, after I finish raking my yard, but that should be over by noon. I'll wear a green sweater with orange cats on it so you can recognize me.
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 9 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
dude im not a theif i honestly dont know u so yhea!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
John,
Do you insist on being difficult? If you don't want to meet up, that's fine. I would just appreciate it if you would tell me outright, instead of toying with my emotions. I am a fragile person, John. Quite fragile. In fact, I don't even get enough calcium or iron in my diet, because I cannot absorb Ca or Fe properly, and therefore have very weak bones. I was once pushed down a flight of stairs by a man in a three-piece suit, and broke seventeen bones in my body. Do you know how bad it hurts to break seventeen bones at once? I was in the hospital for two months recovering. I'll never be able to thrust my pelvis forward like I used to. My girlfriend Nancy broke up with me because I couldn't even be on bottom, it hurt so bad. I cried for months afterward. Now all I can do is buy sex toys online, because I am too ashamed to go into the adult megaplex just a few miles from my house. The FedEx guy joked about how many times he'd been to my house in the past year! The FedEx guy laughed at me! Do you know how stinging that is? DO YOU JOHN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME AS A MAN?!
Yet you deny me your company for thirty minutes. We could be best of friends, you never know. You say you don't even know who I am, so why are you judging me? If you're scared about meeting someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel good on the inside, then let me tell you this: you shouldn't be scared. I can show you what it means to have a friend, if only you would open your heart and mind.
Your dear friend,
Will
Do you insist on being difficult? If you don't want to meet up, that's fine. I would just appreciate it if you would tell me outright, instead of toying with my emotions. I am a fragile person, John. Quite fragile. In fact, I don't even get enough calcium or iron in my diet, because I cannot absorb Ca or Fe properly, and therefore have very weak bones. I was once pushed down a flight of stairs by a man in a three-piece suit, and broke seventeen bones in my body. Do you know how bad it hurts to break seventeen bones at once? I was in the hospital for two months recovering. I'll never be able to thrust my pelvis forward like I used to. My girlfriend Nancy broke up with me because I couldn't even be on bottom, it hurt so bad. I cried for months afterward. Now all I can do is buy sex toys online, because I am too ashamed to go into the adult megaplex just a few miles from my house. The FedEx guy joked about how many times he'd been to my house in the past year! The FedEx guy laughed at me! Do you know how stinging that is? DO YOU JOHN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME AS A MAN?!
Yet you deny me your company for thirty minutes. We could be best of friends, you never know. You say you don't even know who I am, so why are you judging me? If you're scared about meeting someone who makes you laugh, makes you feel good on the inside, then let me tell you this: you shouldn't be scared. I can show you what it means to have a friend, if only you would open your heart and mind.
Your dear friend,
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
you know will i believe you need some help i dont know from where or from who but i believe you just have alit of problems. ok? i honestly have no idea eho you are or where the hell u are so i cabt even meet you for coffee. also who gave you this email? and dont give me bs about an anonomus friend i wany facts so we can straightin this whole thing out amd what were you talkin about pics about? What are the pics of? You kniw what surprise me! Send them my way!
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Apologize and I will.
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
for what?
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
GODDAMNIT JOHN DONT FUCK WITH ME I WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
wtf all im askin for is what do u eant me to apoligize for and what do you have on me thats so bad?
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 10 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME JOHN. IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME YOU BETTER BE PREPARED TO FACE SOME EPIC LIFE BATTLES. I DON'T MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR RENT THIS MONTH. I MEAN YOUR LEG JUST GOT BROKEN IN SIX PLACES AND NOW YOU DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE BECAUSE A CERTAIN WILLIAM MANNING MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, HAS YOUR GOD DAMNED SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND WILL WIPE YOU OFF THE FACE OF THE GOD DAMNED DIGITAL PLANET. YOU BETTER NOT BE FUCKING WITH ME HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING ARE OYU REALKAFY THAT AUFSDCKING DSAFUT ALS:DFH:LAKFJ{Q#IOJ
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
how did you get it? n i have my card inmy safe dude u dont have it sorry to tell you that. now wher are my pics??
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Dear John,
Did I send you any of "your" pictures? I forgot. I'm not 100% sure why you're looking for pictures of yourself. That's rather egocentric, don't you think?
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
no but just stop emailing me ok ur hattasing me now and if this continues i will have the cops on you ok? so stop from niw on no more emails and im not john cassidy fool!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Dear John,
Did I send you any of "your" pictures? I forgot. I'm not 100% sure why you're looking for pictures of yourself. That's rather egocentric, don't you think?
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
no but just stop emailing me ok ur hattasing me now and if this continues i will have the cops on you ok? so stop from niw on no more emails and im not john cassidy fool!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
My dear friend,
I am in no way calling you a fool, so the title "John Cassidy Fool" would surely not apply to you! I'm also unsure what you meant when you erroneously stated that I was "hattasing" you. I'm sure you meant to spell "assisting," as this is indubitably what I am accomplishing here! I'm very glad you feel that my assistance is noteworthy, as I try to help people out!
Will
I am in no way calling you a fool, so the title "John Cassidy Fool" would surely not apply to you! I'm also unsure what you meant when you erroneously stated that I was "hattasing" you. I'm sure you meant to spell "assisting," as this is indubitably what I am accomplishing here! I'm very glad you feel that my assistance is noteworthy, as I try to help people out!
Will
From: John Cassidy To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
no i meant ur harassing me u fool!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
John,
How can you say that I'm harassing you? We're friends! Do you happen to be Nigerian? I know that "harass" means "to be good friends" in Tamasheq. I'm sure this is the case!
Will
How can you say that I'm harassing you? We're friends! Do you happen to be Nigerian? I know that "harass" means "to be good friends" in Tamasheq. I'm sure this is the case!
Will
From: John Cassidy
To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
dude leave me aline k!! ur crazy!! so stop emailing me!!
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
When do you want to meet up for coffee?
From: John Cassidy To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
i dont wNt no cofee get it throufh ud head i dont like u n i dont know yo uur crazy ok.. so leave me alone n im blockin u so u dont bother me Nymore!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Okay, John! I love you.
From: John Cassidy To: William Manning
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
leave me alone bitch!!
MR. CASSIDY [-_-]
From: William Manning
To: John Cassidy
Date: December 11 2009
Subject: Re: I Heard From a Mutual Friend
Your words say "no" but your lovely emoticon says "yes."
